OMG, turning 30 in about a month-and-a-half and babies have been on the brain! It’s like all me and my best friend talk about.
Of course there are many things that are running through my mind turning 30, but this weird maternal desire has kicked in. I was never one of those girls who planned their wedding day from an early age, or wanted to get married and pregnant right away.
I always knew I would want a wedding and a family one day, but when the time comes, that’s when I would focus on it. However, when I turned 25 I started feeling this maternal desire of wanting children. I would tell myself that the day would come, and hopefully it’s just a phase that I’m going through – because the last thing I wanted to do was make a spontaneous mistake that would be a lifetime commitment.
Then at 27, the feeling started getting a little stronger, thinking about having children more and more. I thought I was in a relationship where I was ready to have children with that person – but THANK GOD I didn’t, because we are no longer together.
Now I’m just about 30 (have to prolong my 20′s as long as I can!), and have been with someone for about a year, and I say he’s the one. It’s a relationship like I haven’t had before, which is a bit strange to say, because if you had asked me if any of the other guys were the one – there were two I would have said yes to at that time. However, this relationship has truly showed me what a healthy relationship is like with a foundation of trust, understanding, and communication. I attribute most of that to our age and past experiences in life and relationships.
Anyway, being with this guy and knowing we’ll get married – because we’ve talked about it on several occasions – I feel even more anxious and eager in starting a family. I’m NOT the type of person to jump into things, otherwise I would already have had children with someone else. I won’t let my maternal desire take over my realistic self.
But it’s strange because I find myself struggling with the general “I want everything perfect and just so” when I get married and have children, but then I also have my biological time frame talking to me saying, “time’s a tickin’.” I know I’m not the only one who thinks and struggles with this, many women I talk to who don’t have children yet talk about this. Do you?
I know I’m young still, I’m not approaching 40 when child bearing can become slim-to-none and more harmful to the baby, but I do like a timeline of having children because I personally don’t want to pop them out one after another (if I should be so lucky to even get pregnant more than once).
And that’s another thing, if you’ve never been pregnant, do you worry that you won’t be able to?