If you’re a stepparent have you ever felt selfish?
I must admit I have, and still do at times. It is something I definitely struggle with but are trying to be better about.
If you are a new stepparent, especially one without kids of your own, you may or will feel selfish at times. You are splitting your time with your significant other with someone who is more important than YOU! Hard to take in at times, but it’s a reality and an understandable reality.
So what do I mean feeling selfish?
1. Well, you’re not the most important thing in your significant other’s life. But I guess when you have kids with someone you’re never number one again – but it’s even harder when the kid(s) isn’t yours.
2. When you are with your significant other’s child(ren) you don’t have their full attention.
3. A part of the finances will always go to the child(ren).
5. The time you’ve allotted for yourself considering your “not tied down” with a child will be interrupted in order to do things with a child(ren) that isn’t yours. So if you like your freedom, and then suddenly find yourself in a relationship with someone who has a child, you may feel suffocated a bit.
Does being selfish mean a bad thing?
I personally don’t think so. I think it’s a learning curve for us stepparents. We have to adjust, adapt, and think of things in a different light. We are not in a relationship of two, but in a relationship of three or how many other children there are.
So how do you deal feeling selfish?
I used to, and sometimes still do, go into another room to be left alone because I can feel my selfish ways coming on – and I’m NOT one to hide my emotions. Is that the best way to do deal with it? Absolutely not.
I have to remind myself that this is a child who loves his father, and his father loves him. And even though I may not feel like it, I have to push myself to be a part of that equation, not be an outsider. Easier said then done.
Do you have any ways you deal with feeling selfish as a stepparent?
